Parallel Life by Ruth Hamilton

Author:Ruth Hamilton [Ruth Hamilton]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Severn House Publishers
Published: 2012-01-08T16:00:00+00:00

Eight

He woke in a sweat again, gasping for breath, head aching as soon as he switched on his bedside lamp. Alan Browne had helped him greatly, but Ben still had the nightmare at least once a week. The hanged man had probably saved Ben’s sanity, because the enormity of the event had shaken him to the core. It could have been me if I had carried on among those people, he thought. Theirs was a special madness, but it was addictive, contagious, supremely dangerous. How many more would die or go insane through loneliness? Because isolation was the factor that drove men and women of all ages to seek contact via computer. He had to get out and mix, had to take hold of life and shake it.

It had been stated by several people over the years that the most successful kind of policeman was one with a criminal mind, that the best gamekeeper was an experienced poacher. Ben would turn gamekeeper. Whatever it entailed, wherever he must go to achieve his aim, he was determined to become an Internet spook. Dangerous sites needed to be closed; people who collected certain data via the web had to be jailed. There was too much power out there in the ether, too little control. So many kids sat in bedrooms at night, eyes glazed from staring constantly at screens, innocence stolen by predatory monsters. It would be a terrible job, a needle-in-a-haystack task, but Ben wanted it and intended to get it. What must a person study to achieve such an aim? Criminology, psychology – both?

But first, he had to deal with himself. It was three o’clock in the morning, and he was wide awake, thanks to that recurring dream. Both Mother and Harrie knew that he intended to go off somewhere in his van, so why not now? For too long, Ben had been guilty of over-planning; he had depended on rigid control of his environment, and everything had been done on his terms. It was time to begin making sudden decisions, even if the decision to make such decisions originated in his desire to be in charge.

He laughed out loud. ‘That thought was Irish enough for Woebee,’ he said to himself. Better to get on with living than to sit here wondering about his own sanity. Judged compos mentis by two experts, he now had to modify his behaviour. Easy? Probably not, but it would be done.

He threw belongings into a bag, had a shower, dressed. At half past three, he was making his way downstairs, map in one hand, luggage in the other. When he reached the hall, he stopped suddenly. There was someone skulking in a doorway.

‘Benjamin?’

Oh, bugger. It was Father. ‘Yes?’

‘Where are you going?’

Ben bit his lower lip. ‘Exams are over. Thought I’d go away for a few days. Are you still working at this hour?’

‘Yes. Any idea where you are heading?’

‘No. It doesn’t particularly matter. Thirty years ago, I suppose I might have said that I am going to find myself.

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